How to Increase Focus and Let Go of What’s Stopping You
At the end of the day are you feeling stressed, burned out, out of focus or exhausted, barely able to finish out the high demands of the end of the day? Is it hard to wake up in the morning, when you don’t even feel rested, knowing the demands of the day will press you once again? That’s because you’re either/and/or trying to do too much, you’re overbooked, on sensory overload and multi-tasking.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Parents are carrying a heavy load with taking care of the basic necessities, work, parenting, homeschooling, and life. This is something most people are challenged by. Unless we’ve been taught how to manage effectively, the challenges arise so we can navigate better. It’s not about you being good enough or smart enough, a lot of it is about how we’re wired, our environment and navigating in a respectful way. Respectful to others but first to ourselves.
Our brains can only manage so much however with our great technology and innovations making it easier to be plugged in 24/7. Thus, it becomes easier to get run down, have unreal expectations and feel defeated. Before we even realize it we’re reaching for more. We’ve become addicted to multiple stimuli and the adrenaline rush experienced every time we get stimulated by our devices or multi-tasking or split-attention. Our adrenaline bank is not for day to day over-stimulation, it’s for emergencies, and to keep you safe for a quick response when needed.
The only way to break these cycles and get your life back is first by choice. You can choose to live mindfully, prioritize how you want to live and most importantly give yourself frequent breaks that will actually bring you more focus and satisfaction. Here are four ways we stop ourselves from living in focus and flow:
Do Too Much: A mother’s work is never done. Just when you sit down, someone shows up with a need or something needs care. If you’re a curious, creative and engaging person you have many other things you want to learn, do and experience on top of the day to day needs. It’s very easy to say yes, however, this leads to doing too much and overflows into being overbooked, pressed into multi-tasking then reaching out for an adrenalin rush by reaching for more stimulus.
This is where to place your immediate attention which will help the following issues be resolved easier. When you can break the need to do too much, everything else will fall into place easier. Doing too much is when you’re in a state of confusion, your conscious and subconscious is not connecting together with your life purpose which allows you to release the need to do what’s not necessary for your life purpose. I feel it’s imperative that everyone connects with their natural born purpose. If you’re unclear and still experiencing the need to do too much, email me at email@example.com. Ask me for more information about going through the process of determining your natural born purpose and how to narrow down your focus. I’d love to walk you through the process so you too can experience the freedom.
Over-Booked: This is easy to do as a parent. We are managing multiple areas of life. Not only are there the have-tos but what about all that you really want to do? I see moms all the time manage their days up in the cloud. I mean, in your mind where it’s easy to count one item multiple times or worse, pile in more within a time block that’s not even physically possible. Why do you set yourself up for impossibility? This is something I have much experience in and had to break so I could get to productivity. Making family a priority calls for honoring the family rhythm and flowing with what naturally is trying to occur rather than resisting by pushing against it with artificially imposed schedules. This is where much of our struggle occurs when we are trying to force things a certain way. And with growing children, the family rhythm is ever evolving. Have you ever decided on a system for it to suddenly not work leaving you at ground zero, again shopping for another system? That’s why I created the Family Rhythm, honoring each family member while also each individually. Working with strict schedules, 15 or 30-minute increments will get you a lot of stress and bring more struggle into parenting as you’re raising your family. Getting into a rhythm will give you flow and honor everyone involved. Learn more by downloading this audio interview introducing you to the family rhythm method.
Multitasking: When we’re trying to balance too many responsibilities, it’s easy to fall into multi-tasking. At times it can feel like our life demands it because everyone is asking us for something while we’re trying to do something else, getting caught in a loop where we are multi-tasking, fooling ourselves we are getting everything done. Then, when we really look, we discover we’re only scratching the surface and see more is incomplete than complete. You’re satisfaction, peace of mind and rest comes from completion. When we have too many things undone our brain gets into an emergency mode or worse, shuts down. Multi-tasking has to stop immediately. This starts by a practice in being fully present. When you are cooking dinner, cook dinner. Enjoy sharing the time with your children helping, conversing and enjoying the food. When you’re working on studies focus on a particular study. When you’re out having fun, have fun and don’t try to answer emails or work at the same time. If it needs to get done, prioritize, streamline and delegate. We have to train ourselves strictly, if it’s to be done, it must be scheduled. Daily practice being fully present. When you reach for multi-tasking, pause, re-evaluate how it can be done more efficiently or delegate. The attention and re-organization time you take now will multiply in presence, peace of mind, completion and rest. Being fully present is a worthy practice to implement.
Sensory Overload: I’ve left this for the last because if the above is not taken care of then you’ll be reaching for addictive’s, sensory and adrenalin rushes. It all goes hand in hand. So to empower yourself and expand your time and space, make the choice and practice releasing the need to keep reaching for more. Be fully present in what you’re doing by putting the device or stimulation aside. The more I set my phone down, the more I can get done. The less I am mindlessly swiping, the more I can be present in my life that’s happening now. You don’t have to throw out the whole thing. Set yourself up with times you can set your devices on silent while you live life. It can be for 15 minutes, 30 minutes or maybe a whole hour or two. Let those closest to you know what you’re doing and during these times you’ll be unreachable. I like to do this while I’m doing focus work or while we’re studying. Nothing has to be answered immediately. Emails, texts, social media…it can wait. Being a mom and available to everyone can challenge this. My older kids have learned I don’t always answer immediately. If they need immediate help they call and I keep my phone on especially when they are out on the road. Remember when we didn’t have any way to make a call unless we stopped by a payphone? It’s good we have so much modern convenience but it’s up to us how to manage. Every day check in with yourself as to how much you can let go and how you’re doing. It takes daily steps, moment by moment, doing your best.
Believe me, the days when the children are young are fleeting. It’s worth your every effort to align with your natural born purpose, create a family rhythm, develop single-tasking and focus while taking time off from sensory overload. While you’re doing this for yourself, your family will be blessed as well. Children learn what they live. The more we can model what we’d like for them, the whole family grows into greater success.
Inspired Action in the Homeschool: When you’re living a lifestyle of learning and family-centered education, the whole family is developing as a whole, not limited to only academics. Success practices in the home will empower all members to be able to live their natural born purpose and rise to greater service to the world. Parents, keep in mind anything you do to improve yourself personally, your children will be able to learn more quickly. Choose one of the items above to make a practice this week and keep building from there.
Inspired Action for Afterschool: Since your children are gone for most hours of the day, it’s even more imperative that you get these practices implemented so you can maximize time together. When children come home from school there can be a natural response to reach for anything that pacifies or stimulates. That’s disconnection. I believe this is a very important time during the day to connect. Take time for decompression from being busy at school all day and coming home by enjoying a few minutes together. Share a snack, check in with each other, cuddle up together for sharing and relaxing together. Relax into the talking and be open to what children are talking about or may be going through. Make them feel safe. Family-centered learning can sometimes mean playing a game together, sitting outside, or just hanging out, laughing and sharing in the kitchen.
Inspired Action in Schools: The more educators can develop themselves personally, the more they can inspire and lead their students. Have a few minutes of quality time with your students during class to bond, share what you’ve learned or one nugget you can pass on to them. Whether they fully embrace it or not, you’re a leader to influence and inspire them. Cast your seeds of knowledge and inspiration. Be the educator who’s greatly appreciated and treasured over time.
In the comments below tell me which one of those action steps you will take now to make it happen. What’s your greatest concern? What do you need help with?
Get the support you need in your homeschool and parenting, balancing with life and all the work you do. Join Donna’s signature program, An Inspired Education Inner Circle, where moms just like you gather and create the every day they desire in all they do. Let go of what’s holding you back, worry no more about things slipping through the cracks, enjoy your days without overwhelm and stress; best of all, have a peace of mind your children are getting education excellence that honors their genius.